Date:  Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Day 133 of 149

This week marks the end of the month of fasting that we've all been participating in at TLC.  As such, I thought it would be fitting for me to share with you all some of my meditations for the blog this week.  I also want to take a moment now and thank you all so much for your prayers and financial support these past few months.  As my time here in Asia comes to a close, my heart overflows with thankfulness to all of you who made this experience possible.
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"Future Hope in the midst of present Suffering"

Ezekiel 11:17-21

Therefore say, ‘Thus says the Lord God: I will gather you from the peoples and assemble you out of the countries where you have been scattered, and I will give you the land of Israel. ’ 18 And when they come there, they will remove from it all its detestable things and all its abominations. 19 And I will give them one heart, and a new spirit I will put within them. I will remove the heart of stone from their flesh and give them a heart of flesh, 20 that they may walk in my statutes and keep my rules and obey them. And they shall be my people, and I will be their God. 21 But as for those whose heart goes after their detestable things and their abominations, I will bring their deeds upon their own heads, declares the Lord God.”

Just when all hope seems lost, when the LORD seems enveloped in a stream of curses and judgments which began with the nation, then moved to national leaders, and then ended with the people, the LORD takes a brief moment, just a few verses, to remind the reader and the prophet Ezekiel of HIS promises to the nation.  Remember My Covenant.  Remember My grace.  Remember My justice.  Remember My holiness.  Remember this:  one day, in the future, "I will give them one heart, and a new spirit I will put within them.  I will remove the heart of stone from their flesh and give them a heart of flesh, that they may walk in my statutes and keep my rules and obey them. And they shall be my people, and I will be their God."  Don't forget.  Remember My promise.

In times of distress and pain, it can be all too easy to forget who we are and who God is.  It is too easy to forget what was promised.  It is too easy to point and judge.  Noise, thunder, lightning, and pain.  In these conditions it can be hard to hear a voice speaking softly.  When all we want to do is shout and scream, it can be hard to stay silent and listen.  But here in this emotional state, silence is what we need.

It's easy to shout and judge, but much harder to remain silent and submit yourself to the LORD's timing.  Don't be hasty.  Just wait.  How long?  However long it needs to take.  Thus, the question becomes, what do you do while you wait?  Worship, praise, and exalt a glorious God.  When you open your eyes to see specific ways in which to praise God in the midst of difficult times you unwittingly put yourself in a position to be able to hear and receive the Word of the LORD.

LORD, You are good and your Mercies endure forever.  May all praise and glory be Yours now and forevermore.  Nations rise and fall in a heartbeat, but Your kingdom reigns forever.  Human achievements can be overshadowed, extraordinary feats can seem bland and ordinary, but You GOD are marvelous and beautiful.  Nothing compares to the joy, satisfaction, and peace that are found beneath the Cross of Christ.  It is there that things earthly and man-made fade into the background and true beauty and true love radiate forth and cast all fears aside.

Be near.  Open my eyes to the truth that can be found in You. Open my heart to feel the pain and hurt that you have for all those that lack.  I pray for the orphaned, either through war, famine, or abandonment.  I pray for the widowed and the widower.  I pray for these that have lost friends and family to war, famine, sin, and disease.  I pray for those impacted by a fallen human nature:  those suffering addictions and mental illness.

Most of all LORD, God, I pray for those who are separated from you by sin, those lost sheep. Oh, LORD, give me a heart and a passion for those people.  Guide my hands and lead my feet to bring joy and peace to those previously mentioned.  May this be my guide whenever I lose sight:  John 10:14-16, 

"14 I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, 15 just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I lay down my life for the sheep. 16 And I have other sheep that are not of this fold. I must bring them also, and they will listen to my voice. So there will be one flock, one shepherd."

What's Next?

Date:  Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Day 126 of 149

2.5 weeks left.  I suppose I should be more excited than I feel right now.  I seems the day my parents left, the moment they shut the door, I had begun to long for this moment to come:  the chance to begin looking back, instead of forward into the unknown.  My how your perspective changes as you let the God of this universe have free reign on your life.  I wonder if this is how Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, Moses, Samuel, David, and Jesus felt after their various challenges.  Emotion and tears are so different now.  Previously it was sinful; now, it is worshipful.  Pride versus Reverence.  Ignorant stubbornness versus Faith-produced Humility.

I guess now would be a good time to address the "What next?" question.  After all this--I naively put God to the test, "You want me to take life by the horns, give up friends, family, and comfort, and step out in faith?  You better make this worth it."  And oh did He ever--what now?  I imagine every prophet, judge, king, priest, soldier, and shepherd that was ever affected by God had this on his mind as his mission came to an "end."  Did Joseph's faith change when he was appointed as the second most powerful man in all the known world?  How did Abraham feel when he finally arrived in "the promised land."  Did Jesus do a fist pump when He arrived in Heaven after the Ascension?  These are the pillars of our Faith, crowd of witnesses.  What needs to change so that we don't forget the lessons we've learned all along our journey?  We tend to throw phrases around not really knowing their meaning, their power.  Phrases like, "live for HIS glory," "live to reflect HIS love," "as for me and my household we will serve the LORD," and "live by faith."  Do really know what these mean?  Do we really care if we get it right, or if we fail?  What if we fail?  What if these questions are accompanied by a God who appears remarkably silent and unresponsive the moments we need Him the most?  What then?

It would be foolish not to direct those questions at myself.  I'll begin by answering an important question that until recently has remained unknown:  Why?  Why, did I travel thousands of miles away to do what could have been done, closer, cheaper, and easier?  To paraphrase a well known hot rodder, Randy Grubb--Life is not about destinations but journeys.  Taking the backroads; not the highways.  After, what some might call a colored college experience, I decided to take the plunge.  Take what I thought I knew about life and run with it; see what could happen.  Not sure if it was me or God that drove my decision, I guess looking back it definitely was God.  This is not a tale of conversion or a prodigal returning home.  But a research vessel taking the plunge into the deep unknown.  I felt an inkling a tug to go.  Not sure where, not sure how.  I just knew after my college experience I still had some things to figure out.  Asking, searching, seeking, everything seemed to turn up empty, rejected.  Was I right?  No, not me--God.  That is the hinge, focal point, emphasis, reality, and sustenance:  no, not me, GOD.  When all had failed, and my world like a house of cards seemed moments from collapse:  graduation day, reality.  God answered with a question:  Taiwan?

I imagine all those stalwarts of our faith experienced that question:  The Ark?; The Promise Land?; Shechem?; Egypt?; The king's court?; and The Cross?  Forget events or places, people as much as events can be tests of faith:  Abel? Ruth? Delilah?  Bathsheba? Judas? Peter?  So we all seek to know God's will for our lives.  Desire it so much sometimes we lust for it.  But when it comes, if it is revealed, and we are tested, what then?  Are we bold enough, strong enough to endure?  Many of those mentioned in the Hall of Faith are failures, imperfect sinners.  Just like you and me.  So what makes them special?  Why the careful inclusion and exclusion?  Why are some greats left out?  Job?  Boaz?  Esther?  Hezekiah?  Josiah?  Marry the mother of Jesus?  We don't like flawed heroes.  Perhaps that's why the TV show, The Game of Thrones, is so polarizing.  Heroes and Types are meant to be exceptions to the rule not follow it.  But that's the point.  Flawed humans, flawed heroes all serve the same purpose:  emphasize the absurdity of the Salvation narrative, that a perfect God would use flawed individuals to bring about the salvation of an imperfect and sinful people.

Let's return the original question:  what now?  Well, literally?  I guess it started a few weeks ago when I began asking God what next?  You see, acts of faith don't stop after a certain point in our relationship with God; they continue.  Opportunities to apply and use our learned skills will continue to be presented.  And, inevitably, we will be continually reminded of our sinful nature and inability to succeed apart from Christ.  The change is our attitude--trembling with excitement and anticipation--and willingness to continue asking the question--What's next?--whenever applicable.  That is the difference.  Patience is the difference.  Question of how long or to what extent, no longer matter.  Details can be left out, but it won't matter.  What does is His answer.  If that is the goal, the destination, what of the journey?  What of Patience?  It all depends upon our perception of time.  If so, what clock do we use?  As we mature and grow:  as we slowly and terrifyingly loose our death gripe around our lives, Digital, Analog, Satellite, and Atomic watches all fade into the background and our Spiritual Clock comes to the foreground.  That is the goal of each and every test:  the syncing of our spiritual clocks to the Heavenly Timezone sin has endeavored to cloud over and muddle.  And when this happens, look out world.

                                                          How are your clocks?

The Beginning of the End

Date:  Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Day 119 of 149


Well, it's now official.  I am one month away from leaving Taipei, Taiwan after spending around 150 days here.  Amazing.  Also, consider this gift:  I arrived on a fasting month and will be leaving on another fasting month.  TLC has 3 months out of the year that they devote to prayer and fasting:  March, July, and November.  How fitting.  How gracious of God.  It seems as God wants me to learn the joys of a life devoted towards continual prayer and regular seasons of fasting each year.  LORD continue to teach me the immense worth and eternal importance of a life spent rediscovering the joys of prayer and fasting.  And as I pursue a life of prayer and fasting may You continue to reveal Your glory in ever diverse manners and mediums.  Redefine Your glory to me each and every day, LORD.  In Jesus' great name I pray, Amen.

Here is an excerpt from my journal on the topic of God's glory:

How do we live for God's Glory?  Notice Matthew 22:37-40, "You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the greatest commandment.  And the second is like it:  You shall love your neighbor as yourself."  In other words, the way we live for God's glory is to live devoted, fully sold out, for Him.  Or  as Pastor John Piper says, "God is most glorified in us, when we are most satisfied in Him."  There is no other greater commandment than this:  as God's creation we must love Him unconditionally because He loves us unconditionally.  Discipleship extends naturally out of this love.  As we partner with each other to spur one another towards increasing our love for God, we come closer and closer to finally fulfilling that great commandment.  So how do we glorify God?  Love Him and love others.

We want to live in His Glory, bask in it, bathe in it, radiate it, share it, display it, and reveal it.  This is what discipleship is all about, sharing, partaking, and enjoying the Glory of God with others.  We want to develop our spiritual taste buds such that we acquire the taste of God's glory.  We want to become connoisseurs of God's glory--seeking out other ways to ignite our taste buds in more diverse and revelatory ways.  One of my professors, Jerry Root, has the quote that I love, "All truth can be plumbed more deeply, applied more widely, and seen more clearly as it is applied to other coherent truths."  If this is true, and I believe wholeheartedly that it is, then God's glory--and by extension His love--is the absolute truth that we are to search out, discover, immerse ourselves in, be put in awe by, and ground our ultimate joy and satisfaction in and through.  It is not enough to just receive it and keep it for ourselves, such a wonderful beauty can never be hoarded selfishly.

I can't wait for what this life has in store!  Every new day an opportunity, every second the chance to glimpse and experience God's glory in a different more amazing way.  Can't wait for what God has in store for me!