What's Next?

Date:  Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Day 126 of 149

2.5 weeks left.  I suppose I should be more excited than I feel right now.  I seems the day my parents left, the moment they shut the door, I had begun to long for this moment to come:  the chance to begin looking back, instead of forward into the unknown.  My how your perspective changes as you let the God of this universe have free reign on your life.  I wonder if this is how Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, Moses, Samuel, David, and Jesus felt after their various challenges.  Emotion and tears are so different now.  Previously it was sinful; now, it is worshipful.  Pride versus Reverence.  Ignorant stubbornness versus Faith-produced Humility.

I guess now would be a good time to address the "What next?" question.  After all this--I naively put God to the test, "You want me to take life by the horns, give up friends, family, and comfort, and step out in faith?  You better make this worth it."  And oh did He ever--what now?  I imagine every prophet, judge, king, priest, soldier, and shepherd that was ever affected by God had this on his mind as his mission came to an "end."  Did Joseph's faith change when he was appointed as the second most powerful man in all the known world?  How did Abraham feel when he finally arrived in "the promised land."  Did Jesus do a fist pump when He arrived in Heaven after the Ascension?  These are the pillars of our Faith, crowd of witnesses.  What needs to change so that we don't forget the lessons we've learned all along our journey?  We tend to throw phrases around not really knowing their meaning, their power.  Phrases like, "live for HIS glory," "live to reflect HIS love," "as for me and my household we will serve the LORD," and "live by faith."  Do really know what these mean?  Do we really care if we get it right, or if we fail?  What if we fail?  What if these questions are accompanied by a God who appears remarkably silent and unresponsive the moments we need Him the most?  What then?

It would be foolish not to direct those questions at myself.  I'll begin by answering an important question that until recently has remained unknown:  Why?  Why, did I travel thousands of miles away to do what could have been done, closer, cheaper, and easier?  To paraphrase a well known hot rodder, Randy Grubb--Life is not about destinations but journeys.  Taking the backroads; not the highways.  After, what some might call a colored college experience, I decided to take the plunge.  Take what I thought I knew about life and run with it; see what could happen.  Not sure if it was me or God that drove my decision, I guess looking back it definitely was God.  This is not a tale of conversion or a prodigal returning home.  But a research vessel taking the plunge into the deep unknown.  I felt an inkling a tug to go.  Not sure where, not sure how.  I just knew after my college experience I still had some things to figure out.  Asking, searching, seeking, everything seemed to turn up empty, rejected.  Was I right?  No, not me--God.  That is the hinge, focal point, emphasis, reality, and sustenance:  no, not me, GOD.  When all had failed, and my world like a house of cards seemed moments from collapse:  graduation day, reality.  God answered with a question:  Taiwan?

I imagine all those stalwarts of our faith experienced that question:  The Ark?; The Promise Land?; Shechem?; Egypt?; The king's court?; and The Cross?  Forget events or places, people as much as events can be tests of faith:  Abel? Ruth? Delilah?  Bathsheba? Judas? Peter?  So we all seek to know God's will for our lives.  Desire it so much sometimes we lust for it.  But when it comes, if it is revealed, and we are tested, what then?  Are we bold enough, strong enough to endure?  Many of those mentioned in the Hall of Faith are failures, imperfect sinners.  Just like you and me.  So what makes them special?  Why the careful inclusion and exclusion?  Why are some greats left out?  Job?  Boaz?  Esther?  Hezekiah?  Josiah?  Marry the mother of Jesus?  We don't like flawed heroes.  Perhaps that's why the TV show, The Game of Thrones, is so polarizing.  Heroes and Types are meant to be exceptions to the rule not follow it.  But that's the point.  Flawed humans, flawed heroes all serve the same purpose:  emphasize the absurdity of the Salvation narrative, that a perfect God would use flawed individuals to bring about the salvation of an imperfect and sinful people.

Let's return the original question:  what now?  Well, literally?  I guess it started a few weeks ago when I began asking God what next?  You see, acts of faith don't stop after a certain point in our relationship with God; they continue.  Opportunities to apply and use our learned skills will continue to be presented.  And, inevitably, we will be continually reminded of our sinful nature and inability to succeed apart from Christ.  The change is our attitude--trembling with excitement and anticipation--and willingness to continue asking the question--What's next?--whenever applicable.  That is the difference.  Patience is the difference.  Question of how long or to what extent, no longer matter.  Details can be left out, but it won't matter.  What does is His answer.  If that is the goal, the destination, what of the journey?  What of Patience?  It all depends upon our perception of time.  If so, what clock do we use?  As we mature and grow:  as we slowly and terrifyingly loose our death gripe around our lives, Digital, Analog, Satellite, and Atomic watches all fade into the background and our Spiritual Clock comes to the foreground.  That is the goal of each and every test:  the syncing of our spiritual clocks to the Heavenly Timezone sin has endeavored to cloud over and muddle.  And when this happens, look out world.

                                                          How are your clocks?